This $24 Final Fantasy 14 Mount Turns You Into Mary Poppins

0
31

Final Fantasy XIV Online players can grab a new–and expensive–mount in the game’s store, an enchanting “Magical Parasol” that’ll turn them into Mary Poppins. For just $24– or two Blu-rays of the classic Disney film–you can look supercalifragilisticexpialidocious when you take to the sky with this gravity-defying umbrella, which is also available in a brighter color scheme.

“Some decades past, a notable Sharlayan scholar posited that umbrellas could be utilized for more than just shielding tomes and their owners from inclement weather,” the actual Eorzean lore for the umbrella reads. “In her stubbornness to prove this hypothesis correct, she cast a spell upon a pitch-black umbrella to grant it the gift of flight, and thus did she infiltrate the Great Gubal Library through its roof in the dead of night. Though its design may be simple, its magicks allow for beautiful blue blossoms to bloom and bubble in its wake as it merrily floats across the skies.”

While Square Enix doesn’t directly confirm the link to Mary Poppins or Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, possibly due to Disney’s lawyers being more terrifying than anything that the game can throw at you, the resemblance is uncanny. Square Enix does mention that the attire shown in the promotional images isn’t in the game, so don’t expect to be able to fly around with this umbrella while wearing your Sunday magical British nanny best. But at least you’ll know you’re cool when you use it.

Beyond offering practically perfect transportation methods, there’s a lot to look forward to if you’re a Final Fantasy fan. A major patch for Final Fantasy XIV is out in May, and on June 22, Final Fantasy XVI launches for PS5. With only a few months left until launch, Square Enix revealed a deep dive into the next mainline entry in the Final Fantasy series with a dedicated State of Play presentation that focused on the combat, story, and massive Eikon fights of the game.